Choosing the best stop being bpd I just got off the product after being lectured by my friend for a half and hour.I"ve been being really bad for the past two weeks.My birthday came down to triggering.I got really depressed and i kept texting j when i was depressed about how no one likes you me.I called him tonight because i wanted to speak with him about my feelings.I chickened out in the early stages and just made small talk til he said he had to go.But i actually called him back and brought up what Pandora Sale i wanted to discuss(Maybe i"m finding out how to ask for what i want? ) Unfortunately, that unwrapped pandora"s box, and all the issues he had against me came out.But that is kind of what i wanted.I wanted real communicating.It was sobering whereas.He won"t even listen to me when i start to say that i feel like someone doesn"t care about me or someone feels fake or every other bpd thought.He went off on me producing empty suicide threats, and for never below his advice to not tell anyone i meet about my problems.I think he was pretty upset about that one.It absolutely was sobering.But in the mean time it felt good.Growing up my parents never picky me and never had any guidance to give me.Maybe i act out because i want train.In any event, it"s a sign that he cares about me that he spent the time to lecture me.And he understands bpd really well so even though he"s lecturing me i know he understands my opinion and i appreciate that.He even replied"I should not use the word manipulate because i know you"re not doing it on purpose, many have called me manipulative in the past and it hurts because he"s right, it"s not deliberate.Anyways, he was quite troubled at me. I just don"t realize how to not be bpd.When i"m upset the emotions are really strong.I feel lonely and turned off if i can"t talk to someone about those feelings.So i act up, i text emotive things, i talk about my problems to anyone who seems to be able to listen.Is it a lack of seeking to get better on my part?J asked me why i want to express my problems, is it my credit?I just don"t understand how to not be upset when i feel rejected or isolated. I feel bad now because it sounds like the closeness in our romantic connection wasn"t two sided like i thought.It only agreed to be him catering to me. I think it is the best thing that he sets boundaries, but he ought to be a supportive friend and listen to you.I know that with myself i always try to gain control over the situation like say how i preferably should talk or else it is eating me up, how i need him to care or listen or another type.I know i shouldn"t really be permitted to do these things, but i know that from mother and father i could never tell them anything.So from that lookout i am dying to have people understand all of me and to listen and care.I suppose it is exactly what you feel as well.It is like you are being overwhelmed with insecurity and you want someone to explain how it aint so and so.But that never really pays you, it should?Being cut off entirely and feeling like a burden if you start to sing doesn"t help either, so it"s a very hard situation.If the "disciplining" you assists, do it, but mindful.I know how we tend to idealize people we feel are giving us something which helps us, like emotional rules, and he seems the type to randomly shut you out.Keep a healthy distance and look out for yourself. None of what i write will be simple for you to read, and generally there is no simple/easy solution. I don"t think you want him to fix you, but i do believe the attention you receive from him whether it"s lecturing or compassion is viewed as love that you didn"t receive at some stage in your life.Therapist / shrink or even distracting yourself by posting in the forums. Undoubtedly, there is not a simple solution with bpd.I"ve lost many friends owing it, and i relate to numerous what you write. Maybe / not.It all depends on what the motivation was behind wanting to talk about your heartaches.If it"s attention driven then it"s just bpd and has nothing to do with learning to ask for what you deserve. As far as this (more Pandora Beads here) affectionate goes.You"ve generally put him in a power position over you.He"s basically become the perfect counselor. Are you in medication?Do you have a shrink?If it is not, you must find one and stop drowning your sorrows with him.You need him to fill a void which he can"t do. He went off on me producing empty suicide threats, and for never proper his advice to not tell anyone i meet about my problems.I think he was pretty sorry about that one.It"s sobering.But all together it felt good.Growing up my parents never encouraged me and never had any guidance to give me.Maybe i act out because i want martial art.Direction, it"s a sign that he cares about me that he spent the time to lecture me.And he understands bpd really well so even though he"s lecturing me i know he understands my mind-Set and i appreciate that.He even defined"I should not use the word manipulate because i know you"re not doing it on purpose, lots of people have called me manipulative in the past and it hurts because he"s right, it"s not on purpose.After a few months, he was quite depressed at me. It"s not a lack of hesitant to get better, it"s the lack of the inability control the attention/love you want.The problem with what you are doing is it shifts the power balance of the relationship.Every thing has become is no longer based on equality but you become the cheapest price dysfunctional victim in need of him to fix you.It do not work, because resolve fix you.All he can do is listen until he becomes tired of you and moves on or continues to hang around playing the role of counselor. You would be better off to try and fight the urge and find ways to keep yourself preoccupied such as posting and replying to threads in the forum.Not only vent while keeping focused on yourself, but focus on other"s problems to take your mind off of yours. In someways it is usually!Because it"s the tactic that we use to get the love that we didn"t get during adolescence.You is quite possibly not your disorder, but your syndrome is you, at least a part of you to your identity, and will be until you could control it rather than vice versa. It seems that we go from 5 years old to 20 and miss everything in between which is unfortunate because that is where a person gets the love and nurturing they need which helps establish self-Belief and identity.We lack this and rely on the dysfunctional traits of bpd to give us that which we didn"t get.It never spends time. Yes i have been in therapy for a long time.Unfortunately the first therapist i had was nintendo wii match for me, but last fall i went and found a new therapist that is a better fit.My therapist has been away on holiday the past 3 weeks which is probably also part of why i was acting out so much and wanting to talk to someone so much.Speaking to my therapist does help, but it"s still different then having a friend.I guess i have a desire for someone who will voluntarily fear of me, probably because my parents were often too self absorbed to bother with me or notice my problems.I don"t think i"m locate j to be my therapist.I think i prefer to feel connected.I want a witness to what i"m undergoing maybe.Contrary i"m probably wanting him to be my"Dad"And be supportive and willing to listen on daily basis, boot camp my mom never did.
